Man Nearly Killed, Bridge Unharmed

If I were Dave Barry, I would probably be claiming that this was sent to me "by an alert reader." However, I am not Dave Barry, so I will tell you that this item was sent to me by my big bro (though he is frequently an alert reader, too). Apparently, this dude was in the middle of a drawbridge, enjoying the view when it went up in the air. That's a little scary, I reckon. Making the story just a little bit more odd is that the guy in this article, the dangler, is my big bro's fraternity brother, as well as a guy who once slept on the couch in my apartment when I was in college.

My favorite part is this: "There was no structural damage done to the bridge." I'm certainly glad to hear it. Two sentences later: "Heitner walked away from the incident without any injuries." Thanks for making sure we knew about the bridge first. I was concerned.

The message here is quite clear: next time you get to wondering what happened to so-and-so from college, take a look at your local drawbridge. He may be up there.