2005 by the Numbers

Back at the beginning of the year, I threatened to write a post looking back at 2005. Well, now I'm delivering on that threat. I don't make a lot of new year's resolutions that I'm not going to keep. And I'm not big into setting a lot of goals. However, I did have two very specific goals for 2005: to break 90 on the golf course and to go on two dates with the same person. Some of you might think those are ridiculous goals, that I shouldn't be focused on golf, that there is NO WAY that any self-respecting girl would go out with me two times. And I thought of those things, too. But I set those as goals anyway. Besides, my goals didn't require that the girl have any self-respect.

With that rambling preamble out of the way, let's go to the numbers. First, the numbers related to

Golf
18-Hole Rounds (without losing my scorecard): 29
Lost Scorecards: 2
Scrambles: 3
9-Hole Rounds: More than 0, less than 15
[The following numbers are from my 29 18-Hole Rounds whose scorecards I didn't lose.]
Scores At or Over 100: 12
Scores Below 100: 17
Scores Below 95: 6
Scores Below 90: 1
Rounds That Would Have Been Below 90 if I Hadn't Inexplicably Carded an 8 on a Par 3: 1
Total Holes: 522
Bogeys: 165
Pars: 94
Birdies: 12
Eagles: 1
Greens in Regulation: 104
Putts: 1046

So I clearly met my first goal. In fact, I did it on July 28th. Sadly, I haven't done it since, but that doesn't in any way diminish the glory of having achieved that milestone. I know some of you don't give a rip about those numbers, but I have called golf my girlfriend before. So you'll just have to deal.

Knowing who often reads this blog, I'm sure that more of you will be interested in the numbers related to

Weddings
Weddings Attended: 2
Weddings in which I Was Part of the Wedding Party: 0
Wedding Gifts Bought: 1 [I'm still on the hook for the other]
Single Women Danced With: ~7
Married Women Danced With: ~15
People Impressed With My Dancing: ~50
People Disturbed By the Amount of Sweat Produced by Said Dancing: ~200
Hook-Ups Resulting from Impressive Dancing, Alcohol, and Alleged General Aphrodisiac Nature of Weddings: 0

Finally, what you've all been waiting for ... the numbers related to

Women/Dating
Phone Numbers Requested: 2
Phone Numbers Received: 3
Phone Numbers Forced Upon Me Even Though I Didn't Want Them: 1
Phone Numbers Called: 2
Girls Who Impressed Me With Their Smoothness: 1
Girls Asked Out: 4
Girls Who Laughed Upon Being Asked Out: 1
Girls Who Said "Maybe" in Response to Being Asked Out When They Really Meant "No:" 1
Girls Who Asked Me Out: 1
First Dates: 2.5 [It's arguable whether one was a date.]
Second Dates: 2.5 [Same business.]
Second Dates That Probably Shouldn't Have Happened, But I Did After All Have a Goal to Meet: 1
Third Dates: 1

There you have it. Those are the major numbers from 2005 for The Kid. For you scoffers out there, how ya like me now? I met both goals for 2005. In fact, I had them in the bag by July 28th. I considered just taking the rest of the year off, but I couldn't manage it. Besides, I wasn't quite sure how to make that happen. The suspended animation thing doesn't really seem to have gotten off the ground yet. And with all of those accomplishments, I still found time to shave my goatee (I still haven't grown it back), write my blog (really, a result of shaving the goat), win an NCAA tourney pool, and buy new golf clubs. I can only hope 2006 will be as successful. I'm still working on my goals for the year. If you have any ideas, I'd love to hear them. In the meantime, I'll be practicing my putting.