Harry: All right, pop quiz. Airport. Gunman with one hostage. He's using her for cover; he's almost to a plane. You're a hundred feet away. What do you do, Jack?I thought that was a somewhat clever, if not very subtle, solution to the problem. And that was kind of the point. Little did Harry know that he would be the hostage getting the lead salad shortly thereafter. There's a word for that. Fore ... something. You know what I mean.
Jack: Shoot the hostage.
But I'm not here to talk about literary/film techniques or lead salads or even ludicrous plotlines in action movies. I'm here to talk about the pop quiz. The scenario we came up with was this: You're having a party. Very early (earlier than you would like) a girl you've been out with a few times in last couple of months shows up. After a while, as the party's getting ramped up, a girl you used to date who is borderline unbalanced (to the point where she has been known to hurl footwear) and none too big a fan of yours shows up to alternately ignore you and glower at you for the rest of the night. Finally, when the party is at its peak, your most recent ex-girlfriend shows up. She dumped you somewhat unceremoniously, but she still emails you quite regularly and calls you from time-to-time. She's not so balanced, either, but you don't know that. You are, naturally, still hung up on this girl. You find yourself repeatedly saying, "Damn. How are all three of those chicks going to be here at the same time?!"
What do you do?
My first answer was that you should get absolutely polluted and pretty much ignore them all, thus further irritating the one who hates you and endearing you to the other two.
I'm starting to think that it might be better -- or at least funnier -- to get absolutely polluted, gather them all together, and start making comparative comments about them. They're clearly no good for you, anyway. Might as well have some fun with it.
What do you do?
4 comments:
i would alternately talk to all three, flirting in my usual smooth way, and make all three jealous, and then leave with the single hot chick who is also (hopefuly) at the party.
You can't leave, "Your having a party" you said. My advice, find someone else at the party to hit on.
Ummm...this might be the point in your life to start reevaluating the "let's be friends after the breakup" stance. It never works out because one is always pining away for the other.
You can't pick up that night because any normal girl will realize that there are other exes there. And it sounds like there are already plenty of unbalanced ones on the roster. So you're only choice is to have some fun with the situation.
Start by pitting the two exes against each other. This should provide entertainment until you get sufficiently "polluted". Fuel the fire by dropping comments about how Ex #1 said she couldn't believe Ex #2 was ever your type. It's also fun to intentionally ignore Exes. Stand directly in front of them and have a lively conversation with someone else. Make bets on how long it will take before shoes start flying.
Keep the Current but Not That Exciting Girl off to the side in the event that you want to "hang out" later that night. This may require the assistance of a wingman to keep her away from the Ex v Ex deathmatch.
This is an easy one....can you say foursome?????
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