Hineyless Pant-things

I actually recently had this discussion twice, and neither time really left me satisfied, so I will now present it to you. The topic that has left me so stymied is this: Why do people insist on referring to certain garments as "assless chaps?"

[Aside: yes, this comes up. I have friends (you know who you are) who like to bandy about the term in question somewhat frequently, typically in an effort to disturb those foolish enough to listen to them. I am sometimes one of those fools.]

I know this is the type of question that keeps people awake at nights, and I hope our bringing the subject out into the open will help avoid some of those difficult and annoying tossings and turnings. I wonder about it because I have often (by which I mean about once a year) heard someone use the phrase, and it always ejects me from whatever conversation is actually going on by causing me to think, "Aren't chaps assless by definition?" Seriously, aren't chaps those leather things that cowboys wear to protect their legs from ... something? Aren't they worn over pants? Aren't they like pants with a significant part missing? You don't ever hear about assful chaps. I did some research here, and it looks like I had pretty much the right idea.

Both times this discussion happened, the people I talked with thought that "assless chaps" referred to the chaps MINUS the pants. Naturally, I think it's a misnomer if that's the case. They should be called pantsless chaps. (Or trouserless chaps, for you Brits out there -- not that it seems right that Brits might wear chaps.)

Ultimately, I guess "assless" is funnier than "pantsless." Plus, "assless" is in general a concept that one doesn't hear about a lot. Other possibilities spring to mind, though: chaps without ass, butt-baring chaps, and cornhole cutaways (OK, so that one didn't involve the word "chaps," but it made me chuckle).

I'm just not sure. Next time you see a cowboy, ask him what he calls them.