The Dangers of the Well

I think many of you have, at one point or another, gone back to the well. You know how it is. You break up with your significant other. Maybe it ends badly, mabye it ends well. Either way, somewhere down the road, communication restarts. You remember that the other person wasn't all bad. There are lots of good things about that person. Sure, he or she may have had a tendency to clip toenails over your bowl of cereal, hurl objects at you at unusual times, or even sleep with your friends. But that was before. This person seems different now. And let's be honest: you're not getting any, and you could go for a good roll in the hay. That wasn't so bad before, was it? Somehow, a get-together is arranged. Maybe it's an innocuous lunch at first. But that turns into drinks later in the week or even dinner. Hell, maybe you get a booty call that you just can't turn down. But it's dangerous to go back to the well. What? You don't believe me? Just ask this guy.

If you don't want to read that article, the short version is that a guy accepted an invitation to an ex-girlfriend's place some months after they broke up. Whatever happened while he was there, he somehow ended up falling asleep, and when he woke up she "had used Super Glue to stick his genitals to his abdomen, glued his buttocks together and spelled out a profanity on his back in nail polish." Not good times.

Maybe we're an overly litigious society, and the guy should be embarrassed about being snookered instead of suing. But I don't care about that. There are two things that stand out to me in this article. The first is that the girl "invited him over to her home on May 7, 2000, where he fell asleep." He just went over there and fell asleep. This sort of thing happens every day. I don't know about you, but I don't often fall asleep when I'm just visiting people. I guess we're supposed to read between the lines.

But my favorite part -- by far -- was that the girl's attorney reportedly said "it was a consensual act." I don't know if there's a legal definition of consent that I don't understand, but I'm thinking that it's a stretch that consent was given to use glue to stick a man's package to his belly and his butt cheeks together.

So think about Kenneth Slaby the next time you go for that booty call, because there be danger in going back to the well. And if you do go back, definitely don't go to sleep.