300 of the Universe

My TiVo recently received an update that allows me to use it to watch YouTube videos on my TV. That's not really earth-shattering, but it was neat enough to try out. To that end, the Girl recommended that we watch two videos. Specifically, the first was for background. You should watch it now:

I know, I know, that's just a trailer for a not new movie. Granted, it's a pretty cool trailer, but still. That video was just prelude to this one that the Girl's friend did ... Damn! I can't embed it. Sigh. Go and ahead and take a look at it on YouTube. I thought it was pretty cool.

I'll Snarf to That!

The Girl and I spent some time this past weekend working on a toast she's going to give at a wedding in the near future. The Girl finds just the thought of doing this terrifying. If she could go her whole life without ever having to speak in front of more than about 2 people, she would consider it a life lived smartly and correctly. Alas, there's this toast. So we spent some time talking about ideas of what to say and what not to say (although I think I mostly kept coming up with oh-so-helpful examples of things not to say, but that's not the pint right now). While we were discussing it, I couldn't help but recall the single best line I have ever heard in a wedding toast.

One friend of mine married a girl whose maiden surname was Otis. They actually met in the elevator heading into a charity black tie function. I think we can all agree that this is an excellent way to meet people. It has a sort of James Bond feeling to it, given the black tie thing, and a bit of sweetness, given the charity part. I suppose it's topped by the couple who met when they jointly did an emergency field surgery to save the life of a cancerous orphan who had been injured while rescuing baby harp seals from an oil spill, miraculously putting the orphan into complete remission while making a point to buy carbon credits to offset what they used during the surgery. But I don't reckon there are too, too many of those couples out there. Anyhoo ... where was I?

Oh, yes. The toast. At the wedding of the elevator-to-the-charity-black-tie-event-meeting couple, the best man made a shift in the middle to address the bride (née Otis) and said, "you were the girl in the elevator with the elevator name." There was a bit of laughter. Then there was a huge roar of laughter a few seconds later. The delayed roar could have been a second wave, but it's more likely that it took a lot of people a while to get it, as evidenced by the one girl at our table who asked what was so funny. I loved it. Still do. I think the reason you don't drink until the toaster is done talking is for safety purposes. Had I been drinking at the time, the champagne definitely would have come out of my nose. But it would have been worth it.

Quote of the Weekend

OK, so it wasn't originally said this weekend, but that was the first time I heard it, and I had to share it. My brother and I were talking about something we considered endless and futile, and he told me something his friend Seth once said: "You know why salmon swim upstream to spawn every year? It's because they're Sisyfish."

My Phone Sees Things...

... and so can you.

My cell phone has this little camera thingy on it. It takes crappy pictures, but it comes in handy once in a while to take note (well, picture, really) of something that grabs my attention.

For instance, in my office building, I recently came across this:

 

Part of it's a little hard to read, but I think you can get the idea. When I saw this, I couldn't help wondering how in the hell a door can be out of order. Seriously, does that mean it won't open? If so, the sign's pretty useless, don't you think? I mean that would be pretty obvious when it didn't open (although I suppose such a sign would keep people from calling the management, as the sign would indicate they already knew about it). Or does it mean it won't close? No, that's clearly not the case, as the door is currently closed in the picture. I suppose it could mean that, if you do open the door, it might fall on you and possibly kill you. Or it might be broken such that it will only open into another dimension where you are likely to fall prey to the Dreaded Ass Bite of the Evil Buttmunchosaur, at which point out of order doors will clearly become the least of your concerns. If it were one of these last two things (or something else along those lines), doesn't it seem like a more ominous and official-looking sign would be in order (sorry for the pun -- couldn't help myself). Something like "Beware the Dreaded Ass Bite" would likely keep me the hell away from that door. As it was, I opted to pay no heed all the bad things it did to the proverbial cat and indulged my curiosity by grabbing the handle and opening the door and walking right through and watching it close. A few days later that sign went away, and I have no idea what changed.

I was going to put up some others, but I'll hold off on those for now. We'll call this Part One or something. I hope your Monday is as good as can be hoped ... and devoid of out of order doors. But maybe you should Beware the Dreaded Ass Bite, just in case.

Photo Bombing Fun

Non-somnolent reader FJ just emailed this photo essay to me, and I had to share it right away. Just marvelous.