The Girl and I spent some time this past weekend working on a toast she's going to give at a wedding in the near future. The Girl finds just the thought of doing this terrifying. If she could go her whole life without ever having to speak in front of more than about 2 people, she would consider it a life lived smartly and correctly. Alas, there's this toast. So we spent some time talking about ideas of what to say and what not to say (although I think I mostly kept coming up with oh-so-helpful examples of things not to say, but that's not the pint right now). While we were discussing it, I couldn't help but recall the single best line I have ever heard in a wedding toast.
One friend of mine married a girl whose maiden surname was Otis. They actually met in the elevator heading into a charity black tie function. I think we can all agree that this is an excellent way to meet people. It has a sort of James Bond feeling to it, given the black tie thing, and a bit of sweetness, given the charity part. I suppose it's topped by the couple who met when they jointly did an emergency field surgery to save the life of a cancerous orphan who had been injured while rescuing baby harp seals from an oil spill, miraculously putting the orphan into complete remission while making a point to buy carbon credits to offset what they used during the surgery. But I don't reckon there are too, too many of those couples out there. Anyhoo ... where was I?
Oh, yes. The toast. At the wedding of the elevator-to-the-charity-black-tie-event-meeting couple, the best man made a shift in the middle to address the bride (née Otis) and said, "you were the girl in the elevator with the elevator name." There was a bit of laughter. Then there was a huge roar of laughter a few seconds later. The delayed roar could have been a second wave, but it's more likely that it took a lot of people a while to get it, as evidenced by the one girl at our table who asked what was so funny. I loved it. Still do. I think the reason you don't drink until the toaster is done talking is for safety purposes. Had I been drinking at the time, the champagne definitely would have come out of my nose. But it would have been worth it.
